Saturday, September 29, 2007

This Forced March Thing...

Every morning after it gets light or when I get into trouble, dad takes me for an hour forced march, he calls it a walk. When we do this he keeps me on a short leash and he thinks he is walking fast. We don't have time to smell rabbits, look for cat poop or chase birds just walk fast. When we get to the woods, I get to run and I get treats if he doesn't have to chase me when he wants me to come back.

Sometimes we see other folks walking dogs, I don't sniff their butts, but would much rather jump on their masters, that is way more fun. Mom has been taking me in the afternoon sometimes. They are trying real hard to get me tired, but guess what it does not work... every night I get yelled at, most of the time I get called "tedystopbeingapainintheass". Last night mom did not want to share her ice cream, so I howled, but stilll did not get any.

Life is good, kinda mundane right now, not a heck of a lot going on for me.. but mom and dad seem busier, and I get more "crate" time, but the best revenge is when they get home to act like an absolute lunatic. If you think ignoring pisses them off, acting like a lunatic when they are very tired is way better and they get ballistic.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Playing the Crowd or Going to the Vet

Today I went with mom to the Vets, dad stayed home and swore at the bathroom that he was fixing. She did not tell me where I was going, when I got there I was playing the crowd, charming all of the fans with some of my antics. Then they came to get me, it was ok at first, but when the doc checked my back legs, I howled like the coyotes in the woods.. not that it hurt all that much, but I love to get inside of human's heads. They gave me a couple of shots and that didn't hurt much, they said I might be sleepy for the rest of the day. I also weigh 24.4 pounds, put on 7 pounds in a month.

Don't care what they said, I felt fine and rose hell the rest of the day. Auntie B came over for supper, with her dog Gracie.. don't get Gracie, all she does is pace back and forth and does not want to play any of my fun games. But Auntie B. did and I got all crazy, so crazy I peed in the hallway.. there is something about Auntie B. last week I pooped in her bedroom, today when playing I peed. The humans are still trying to train me, but they still have not figured out the conspiracy... if and when they do it will be too late.

Monday, September 24, 2007

A fun game..

Dad says I should call Milton Bradley because I am so damned funny or maybe Zach(who makes video games) , who is about to be married, so we can raise some extra cash. Remember I blogged about Insomnia and how when Aunt B and I were playing I pooped on her bedroom floor, that is how I thought of this game. It is called driving adults absolutely crazy.

They don't let me get up with them right away any more, so I stay in the crate until about 4:30 in the morning, when they let me out they take me out to go pee. That is when the fun begins, when I come back after about ten minutes later I throw myself against the door. They, think I have to go poo.. but, not really I just want to go out and chase moths near the streetlight. After I play for a while, they bring me in. About ten minutes later I bang against the door again, and once again I get to chase moths. They bring me back in, and after ten minutes, guess what, you guessed it. I am outside, that is when they start calling me by my other name.. tedystopbeingapainintheass... after about 5 times I finally go poo.. and they get all happy and pet me and sometimes I even get a cookie.

What fools these humans are, I don't want to go in the house.. I prefer the privacy of the woods. They have not figured out the master plan yet, i.e. that I am really the one in charge.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I think they changed my name..

When I first came home they called me "Tedy B.", but lately they have been calling me "tedystopbiting", "tedystopbeing a pain in the ass" or "tedyknock it off".. not sure what is going on, but have been feeling hyper and rather crazy lately. I have had an insatiable desire to chew anything and everything I can get my hands on, I know where every flip flop and croc is right now and I can steal it in seconds flat. I have been spending more time on the leash in the house and more time in the crate. I guess humans don't understand how much fun we can have together.

The other night dad was opening a can, tunafish he called it, I went wild; howling, rolling on the floor.. he gave me some, guess what it going to happen next time he opens a can?? I figured out how to get some, these humans are so stupid.

Auntie B moved into their old place, I don't have an old place, just a new place. Great fun, she loves to roll on the floor with me and does not get too upset if I bite her. Her dog Gracie is strange, she does not like puppy games, I lay on the floor and bark at her.. but she does not do too much except growl at me once and a while. Anyways Auntie B. and I were running around her new place last night, I got so excited I pooped on her bedroom floor. Great fun eh!!, are we going back soon??

Thursday, September 20, 2007

As I turn 3 months old a few thoughts..

Today is a time of reflection and while in this pensive mood I decided to write down a few thoughts of my first three months of my life. I don't remember much before Gene and Judi took me home, but that is another story.
  • Deer poop is a great snack
  • To sit and beg at the table gets me nothing, but if I am cute I get a few scraps after
  • Humans are nice, but are big wimps, everytime I claw them they yell in pain
  • No matter how many toys they buy me, there is no greater fun than stealing something and chewing on it.
  • I get confused sometimes and think my name is dammitteddy.. teddyyourapainintheass..
  • Humping stuffed animals feels really good
  • I remember where everything is hidden, where the deer poop is and where I threw up in the yard, but always forget about biting toes and feet.
  • My favorite game is to go in the bedroom, steal some shoes, run like hell and everyone chases me.
  • When dad and I do our forced march every morning, he keeps mumbling about that Mangini, idiotic press, Belichick didn't do nothing that has not been done before
  • No matter how many forced marches we do, they can never tire me out.
  • So far my favorite people are Auntie B., Andre and Devon.. except she cries when I forget and bite her.
  • My favorite place in the car is in the car seat, everyone laughs at this.
  • If I sit and look cute, wag my tail I can get just about everything.
  • Mom is trying to teach me to play catch and fetch, so far I am humoring her, because if I am cute and look a little bit interested I get a cookie, a big smile and she pets me.
  • I love to hear adults swear, when they call me and I ignore them and walk away, wow do they get mad... this is the second most funnest thing to do right after stealing shoes.
  • If I run to the door and pee is it the same thing as going outside??
  • Yesterday I found out about eating bugs and bumblebees
  • I used to love to hop in bed with mom in the morning, but she says I stink, I think I smell pretty good..
  • Adults are basically dumb and easy to manipulate, sooner or later they will realize that I am in charge here, they do not know about the plan.....dogs rule.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I Love Insomnia

One of my favorite things is when mom and dad either fall asleep on the couch and never go to bed or if they do get up very early. Couple of days last week they started their day early, one at 12:30 am and one time mom never went to bed. This is so much fun, don't have to go into that crate thing.. that means if I whine a little bit they will let me out... wohee!! So I have more time to play with feet, find stuff they left out and they keep whispering "stop it", but I make believe I cannot hear them. I sit down, look cute they laugh at me and then I raise hell again.

The only bad part is that they whine a lot and complain how tired they are.. they could just take naps all day like I do.. do not understand this human stuff that much and a dogs life is much better.

They are still having problems posting pictures on this web site, dumb humans.. well Igottago.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Are you ready for some Football.. or why I don't like Sundays in the fall

Dad got up very early on Sunday morning, he seemed more hyper than usual, walking around saying stuff that that stupid ESPN, idiotic newspaper reporters.. he was hyper as I have ever seen him. He put on an hat that said Patriots on the front, and then put on something called his BB hoodie. Wow, did we go for a forced march.. we walked fast and furious, something about how he wanted to tire me out before a football game.

Well I did not get tired out, even though mom tried to get me tired also. I played with Andre for a while, and then played with Kathy's kids also. It started to get dark and I got crazy again, doing all the stuff that I like to do.. bite feet, look for flip flops and anything I am not supposed to do. I got put on the leash again, but I calmed down. Then crazy aunt B came over and her mean dog, Gracie. I don't understand Gracie, because everyone else loves me. I calmed down, for a while. Then Dad started and yellling at the box where "Dog Whisperer" comes from. I was tired, so I ignored him, after we went out for our last pee, dad said.. it was a good day Teddy, the Patriots kicked .ss big time tonight and then he ranted again about ESPN and all the talking heads.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The World According to Tedy B.

Hi, my name is tedy B. and even though I am a puppy, I am entering this digital world.. it is scary but my mom an dad say they will help me. My dad says he often enters this digital world with mixed results, whatever that means. I was born on June 20, 2007 my mom was a golden retriever and my dad, well let's just say mom had some moments that we are not proud of. They wanted to name me Brady, but they thought Tedy B. would be better, and guess what some folks think I look like a Teddy Bear, it works for me cause when they call my name they give me a cookie.

When I was five weeks old my first folks dropped me off at the South County Animal Rescue League, with my brothers and sisters. They named me Pilot, not sure why but they did that.They really spoiled me there, took me for walks, and took good care of me. On August 29th, I was sleeping and they got me up and then I met Gene and Judi. All that was left was me and my really crazy sister, Spectra. Megan and the rest of the rescue league staff took good care of me. Gene and Judi seemed nice, but I was not really asked about what I wanted and they just took me home.

I don't remember riding in a car before, but on the way home mom held me in her arms and that felt good. The Rescue League also gave them a big metal thing, they call it a crate and that is where I sleep at night.

When I went to live with Gene and Judi, life got good, they give me good food and just last night got some left over tuna fish from the grill.. mmm good. I have a lot of toys to play with, and now they take me for long walks.. they say it is for them, but I think they are trying to tire me out. I will show them though, because I never get tired. They think they are the boss, but what do human's know.

I have a lot of toys, but really love flip flops, socks, toes and feet, they get mad when I bite them. They put toys in my bed at night, but don't play much there. My favorite part of the day is when I am running around the house or outside. I love to grab at stuff and sometimes I get yelled at. My new favorite thing is humping stuffed animals, great fun, not sure why but it feels good. I also like to go in the woods and look for Deer Poop. Another fun thing is when the grandkids come over, Andre and Devon. Devon pulls me all around on a leash, and I have to do it without biting her. Andre lets me have some of his old stuff.

I do not like loud noises, but I like the car much better now I sleep in the back sleep. The other day they took me for a 2 and a half hour hike, near a place called Green Falls.. I had fun, went in the water. Afterwards they were tired, but I was not, when we got home I got in trouble and had to be put on the leash again, cause I would not stop acting crazy.

Sometimes my folks watch the "Dog Whisperer" and everytime they do, they try something new they use words like "alpha", being in control and other stuff. I do what they say sometimes, but I forget a lot. If they ever buy a book about this guy, I'm gonna chew it, but I chew anything anyways. If they ever make a movie about dog whisperer I'm gonna raise hell while they watch it, they think they are smart and in control.. but they don't know nothing. Dogs rule, humans drool!!!

Sometimes in the morning dad brings me into the bedroom, my favorite place to pee, and puts me on the bed. I get to lick mom's face, bite her ear and lay on the bed, people have the right idea. I usually get into trouble in the bedroom, so dad takes me for a walk.

I have met so many people: Erika who thinks I am crazy. Auntie B. who is crazy, her dog Gracie growled at me and is not as crazy as Auntie B. Joe and Anita, whose dog Gizmo ignores me, and Troubles the cat sticks her butt out at me, but that is ok cause I smell it. Jimmy and Jean, who have a really big dog named Commanche who is nice, all I want to do is swim in their pool though. Then there are the neighbors, everybody loves me and I love to jump on them and lick their faces. Some say I have puppy breath. Dad says I am a "chick magnet", not sure what that means, but mom laughs.

This is my story, want to share it with the world and everyone to know the joy and fun of being me. Visit often and enjoy the ride or the forced marches, also known as the daily walk.

PS.. when they figure out how to add pictures, then you will see me.. until then it is this entering the digital world with mixed results stuff. And they think they are smart???